Spoon Theory

Many of you have heard of the Spoon Theory. You may have heard me say that I am low on spoons.

It’s not that I am eating bowls and bowls of soup!

The original Spoon Theory came from a woman named Christine Miserandino. Christine has lupus, and was trying to explain to a friend what it is like living with her illness. It goes like this.

Everyone has an amount of energy to get through their day. People with diseases, chronic illnesses, mental health issues, tend to have a more limited quantity of energy. Imagine that energy is represented by spoons. Because of your condition, you have 12 spoons of energy to get through your day. It takes one spoon to get out of bed, shower, and get dressed for the day. It takes another to get breakfast, get lunch packed, get to work. You now have 10 spoons, assuming no hassles with the morning routine. Your job, for the morning, between phone calls, boss emergencies, customers…let’s say it takes 3 spoons of energy. In the afternoon, you have an order arrive that you have to check in and put away (fill in a physical task at your own job here), so, 3 more spoons of energy. You have 4 spoons left. You would like to do a blog post, or plant some flowers, maybe play a game (1 spoon each). But with those remaining 4 spoons, you have to drive through rush hour traffic, pick up the child from school and take him to whichever activity happens to be on the calendar for tonight (2 spoons). You may want to go for a walk but you also have to fix dinner (2 spoons, maybe 3). Which task gets the spoon? You have people coming over on the weekend, so you have to look ahead, also. You want to have enough spoons to enjoy the time with friends and family (good things use spoons too) so you try to allocate spoons for cleaning and preparing ahead of the weekend. But you don’t have nearly enough spoons to do all of that, so you must now choose where to spend your spoons.

Now, let’s say you didn’t sleep well and you start the day with only 10 spoons instead of 12. Where do you cut your spoon usage?

Things can give you back a spoon or two. A lunch break, maybe. A nap. Chocolate, sometimes. For me, laughter, sometimes. Sunshine. Everybody has their own spoon-refresher. Sometimes, though, you just have to be done. It helps to have people around you who help you preserve your spoons. Some days, it takes planning, careful planning, deciding where to spend those spoons.

As a gamer (think Dungeons and Dragons), I sometimes think in terms of Hit Points. See, in table top role-playing games, your character has a certain number of hit points, based on their role in the game, what their background is, how experienced they are. Hit points show show how much life you have left. An Orc Fighter, for example, will have more hit points than an Elven Sorcerer. That orc can take a lot of damage before they are out of hit points, where that magic-using elf needs to stay in the background or they are going to be out of hit points very, very quickly. Members of your party can restore hit points, but only if they aren’t busy with a battle of their own at the moment, and you may be out of hit points before anyone can get to you. Resting and sleeping can restore hit points, but it’s difficult to sleep when you are in the middle of something important. If you are lucky, you have a magic elixir that can restore hit points. If you are lucky and you or a party member planned ahead.

It is a useful, tangible, understandable way to express how you are feeling. Maybe it will help us to see, if someone doesn’t join in, well, maybe they are just low on spoons. Maybe they are running out of hit points. Why not see what you can to do help restore a few? And if restoration isn’t possible, maybe, just maybe, sitting together, peacefully enjoying each other’s company may just be the thing that is needed.

If you have a spoon left, you could even have some ice cream.

Cheers,

Kathie