August 18

My Dad would have turned 86 yesterday. His sister, my Aunt Joan, would have been 88. I miss them both.

I think it is safe to say that Aunt Joan was Dad’s favorite person. I am not saying that he didn’t love my mom, or us kids, or his brother, or any other member of his family. There was just a special place in his heart for his sister. He would get a little misty-eyed when he talked about her. It was a special relatonship. And because they were so close, we kids reaped the benefits. I can’t imagine growing up among a finer group of people than my grandparents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles.

August 18 has alway been a special day in our family. It was an excuse to get everyone together. There was always plenty of food, and conversation, and fun. Sometimes, it was a way to get everyone together for a project. I remember one time we got together and painted my Grandma Stephens’ house. And everyone came to help becasue it was August 18th and therefore a party. That, and it was Grandma. She wasn’t an easy person to say no to.

I have to be honest, I felt a bit at a loss yesterday. I saw one of my sisters and my mom. The rest of us are scattered. I wondered if they knew I was thinking of them, and missing them. I wondered if they were feeling nostalgic and maybe a bit lonely for thsoe gatherings. I keep hearing Aunt Joan’s voice saying (in regards to my Uncle Leroy, also greatly missed), “We will just have to miss him in the right way.”

I think about that a lot.

I am not saying there is a right way and a wrong way to grieve, and I don’t think that she was saying that either. I do think that there are healthier ways to grieve than others. I baked cookies. Not just any cookies. Aunt Joan once gave me a recipe for “Mike’s Cookies”. It was a recipe from my Grandma for Chocolate Drop Cookies that Grandma used to make for Dad. They were his favorite. I thought of family with every bite. I shared them with my husband & son—my little family. And I shared them with friends that have been friends so long they are family.

I think Aunt Joan would have approved.

It was an old recipe. It called for “1/4 cup fat” (I used Crisco) and “2 squares chocolate”. I used unsweetened baking chocolate. I don’t know about that choice or if I used enough. They weren’t the best cookies I have made, so I am going to have to tweak my ingredients and try again. They are special cookies, so if you are family and I didn’t get to share Dad’s Cookies this time around, I will try to get you next time.

I beilieve I have a new August 18th tradition.

This life? If you are very lucky—you can define this word any way you want—it’s all about family.

Peace,

Kathie-Lump