Culpability & Hope

I feel I need to start this one with a disclaimer: I am not victim-blaming. I think that, while someone may be able to make a case for one specific crime or another to actually be the victim’s fault, I feel that is an exception, not the rule. Now, that being said….

Is it possible to not be at fault, and still be culpable? Can you, as a victim of a crime, be absolutely not to blame and still accept some responsibility? For example. I’ve been seeing on Next Door a rise in vehicle thefts. Some of these were because the owner left the keys in and the car running and went inside to get something they forgot. Some of those running cars were taken right out of the garage. I do not believe this is the fault of the car owner, but rather of those people who believe it is acceptable to help themselves to other people’s belongings. At the same time, this crime could have been prevented by not leaving the keys in a running car. Is it victim-blaming to point that out? Does the car owner not have at least some culpability?

Can one be somewhat culpable but not at fault? Am I quibbling too much over semantics?

Let’s do another example. This one is touchy. Ready? A woman is walking down the street and gets attacked. What are the first questions that generally get asked? Was it dark? Was she alone? Was it a dangerous neighborhood? What was she wearing? It’s as if she deserved to be attacked if she gives a “wrong” answer to any of those questions. She didn’t, any more than the other example deserved to get their car stolen. Could the attack have been prevented? Probably. Does that make it her fault? No way. Not at all. Does she bear some responsibility because the attack could have been prevented? Does she?

The truth is, we sometimes conduct our lives as if we live in a society that functions the way we think it should. It would be nice if I could leave that car for just a moment, walk down the street without fear, not lock my house and set the alarm when I leave, not have a password for every little thing I do on line. The reality is, we don’t live in that world. We live in a world where the worst can and does happen, and we have to be prepared and guard against that. Does that make the crimes themselves our fault? Not if we aren’t the ones committing them. But we do have to face reality and do our best to not be vulnerable. I am not advocating living in fear; there has to be a balance between paranoia and fear on one side, and protecting yourself on the other.

Don’t despair, though. It isn’t as bleak as it sounds. In any tragedy, as Mr. Rogers said, look for the helpers. There is hope in that, because they are always there. They are there in everyday life also. There is hope in donating time, goods, and money to fire victims, just as there is hope is shoveling someone’s walk or raking their leaves. There is hope in stopping just for a moment to smile and listen, whether you think you have time or not. There is hope in taking time out of your day to give it to someone who needs it. There is hope. It doesn’t have to start with the next generation.

It can start today. With you. Be some’s hope.

Peace,

Kat