The Great Turkey Debacle

A few years ago, the family Thanksgiving dinner was planned to be at my mom and dad’s house. Mom had purchased the turkey and had it safely stored in her fridge, ready for the Big Day.

Or so we thought.

The night before Thanksgiving, mom sent out a text to her four children, informing us that she thought she may be having trouble with her fridge, and she doesn’t know if it has kept the turkey cold enough and was worried about bacteria. She wouldn’t be cooking the turkey for dinner. And there wasn’t time to thaw another one.

Her children had 4 different reactions. Child #1, the oldest, was out for a bike ride and thought she would go to Whole Foods to see if they still had turkeys when she was done. Child #2 didn’t have her phone with her and missed this portion of the drama until it was over. Child #3 was bummed but figured dinner would still be fine without it. Child #4 (that’s me) freaked out. “What do you MEAN there is NO TURKEY for THANKSGIVING? We won’t have enough FOOD! This is a DISASTER!!” The husband of child #4 listened patiently, and when she was done with her rant, calmly dialed Whole Foods, who answered that yes, they still had fresh turkeys in stock. This calm hero went to the store, bought the turkey, and Thanksgiving was saved.

The next day, as the new turkey was cooking, we were standing in the kitchen discussing the disposition of the now, apparently, unneeded turkey. Mom was adamant that she was concerned about the state of the turkey in the fridge and insisted she would throw it out. My brother-in-law felt sure that it was fine, that he would take it and cook it and knew plenty of people that would be glad to eat it. My sister was trying to find a middle ground. Mom won, and went to the fridge to get the turkey and throw it away….but it was gone. None of us had any idea where it was, and no one was confessing to taking it. It was just…gone.

Two days later, she found it. On my dad’s work bench in the garage. Somehow, my dad, who doesn’t exact move quietly and quickly, had come into the kitchen. gotten the turkey without any of us seeing him, taken it to the garage, again without being seen, and left it there.

It definitely got thrown out after that.

The Whole Foods turkey was so delicious, child #4 and her Hero Husband decided that they wanted to cook one for themselves since they didn’t end up with any leftovers, so they went and bought another one. And never cooked it.

We bought a new house and took the frozen turkey with us when we moved. Y’all, we moved a frozen turkey.

Later, a co-worker of mine was upset. He had just purchased a deep fryer, and he and some friends were going to deep fry a turkey. But, the friends had decided to cook salmon instead. Evidently it was delicious, but he had gotten his taste buds all ready for turkey and was sorely disappointed.

And that is how I ended up gifting a co-worker a 22 pound turkey.

He did bring me some leftovers.

I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving!