Growth

Hello Dear Followers!

I’ve been silent for a while, it’s been busy around here! For one thing, my brother got married (hooray!), and then my husband, son, and myself spent two weeks Away.

We went to Washington D.C. for a week and a half. We bought our airplane tickets many months ago, before gas prices went way up. I was very nervous about going on this vacation. DC involves a LOT of walking, you see. And with my Parkinson’s, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up. I was afraid of ruining the vacation. It preyed on my mind, heavier and heavier as the time got closer. I didn’t want to drag them down, or be in the way. I wanted My Son to see everything, learn everything, have the vacation of his young lifetime.

No pressure, right?

We stayed in a VRBO (which had a large painting of Adam and Eve in the garden before they discovered a need for fig leaves….I’ll let your mind wander on that one) in the hallway. It was this old Brownstone, homey and cozy. There were a few bumps (like, we couldn’t get the Colorado Avalanche games on the TV; fortunately, we brought our tablet), But overall it was nice to feel like we were going “home” at the end of the day. We made liberal use of the public transit systems, which again, had a few bumps, but overall very useful. And, yes, there was a LOT of walking. For the first 5 days, I pushed myself. Hard. I walked three to five miles worth of steps every day for the first five days. It was….hard. Mentally and physically. I wanted to be strong and healthy. I didn’t want to feel like I was giving up. At the end of each day, I had a bit of a minor breakdown, crying at how hard I had to try, how much of a challenge it was trying to push myself to my limit and then some.

On Saturday, we had a tour of the White House set up. I doubt I will ever be inside the White House again. I decided that I would rather enjoy the tour, revel in the history and the space, rather than worry about how hard I would have to push myself just to get through the tour. So we borrowed a wheelchair from the Secret Service.

(That’s a fun sentence, isn’t it? My Son was thrilled that we got to actually talk to a real-life secret service agent.)

The tour? It was amazing. I enjoyed every moment of it. We even saw a few things that others didn’t get to see because of that wheelchair. I don’t know if I am allowed to tell you about those, though. We weren’t allowed to take pictures back there. We did get to see part of the kitchen, though.

For the rest of our trip, I only walked between two and three miles a day, usually closer to two. Most places that you are there to visit (museums, for example) have wheelchairs you can borrow while you are in their space, so we did. I was in a much better mood, I tried when I could, rested when I needed. My Son even helped push the chair at the zoo, but got fired when he let go of me to tie his shoe, while I was going downhill, without telling me.

The thing is, all we can do is try our best. Have people by our side that will support us and enjoy having us along for the ride. Learn and know our physical and mental limits. Push the edges of those limits, but not so hard or so far that we have a breakdown, or spend our time and energy trying to be something we are not. Choices have to be made, as life changes, and all we can to is make the best choices we can with the information and circumstances we are given. There is no shame in that. That isn’t giving up. It’s growing.

Peace,

Kathie