Masks

“Gray skies are gonna clear up! Put on a happy face!”

I work at a store that sells theatrical makeup. With it, you can put on any sort of face you’d like. Happy or sad, pretty or ugly, scarred, comic, or smooth. You can be a clown, be a zombie, be any character you want. Mystique from the X-Men? Sure (with the custom prosthetics, 8 hours, and a professional artist.) Dracula? Absolutely-create your own version of him. You can be a superhero or super villain, a comic book character, a character of your own design. With stage makeup, you can put on any face that your imagination can conjure.

But then we all wear different faces at some point in our lives, don’t we? Most of them don’t even require makeup. It’s different than the “hats” you wear. You know, all the different job descriptions you have. A mother, for example, is at different times a nurse, a chauffeur, a cook, a server, a CEO, a CFO, a counsellor, a teacher, a companion… and that is just in her life at home with her family. The faces you put on, or the masks you wear, are another story.

You may, for instance, wear a different face at work than you do at home. At work, you may have to be cheerful, outgoing, organized, professional, knowledgeable, agreeable. So you go into the office and put on the face that portrays all of that. Your Work Mask. At home, you may have a Spouse Mask, a Parent Mask, Sibling Mask, Daughter (or Son) Mask. You may have a Mama Bear Mask (for dealing with those that hurt or threaten your children), A Pet Owner Mask, even a Niece, Nephew, Aunt, or Uncle Mask. They are all the faces you wear for all the people you try to, or have to, be.

Wait, what? You don’t have all those masks? I do. I am a different person around my Mom, for example, than I am with my husband. I would be willing to bet most of you are too, whether you see it, admit it, or not.

These faces are easy, though. The more difficult ones to put on and maintain are the Mood Masks. The Cheerful Mask, the Patience Mask, The Nothing Is Wrong Mask. The Task Masks don’t ask you to be different people, only different aspects of who you already are. They are easy to put on depending on who you are with, where you are standing, what you are doing. The Mood Masks, though….they are a challenge. They relate to what you think you are supposed to be, supposed to feel, supposed to do. And depending on where you get those definitions of supposed to, well, maintaining them can take all you have to give somedays.

I know…let it go. Let it all out. As to that, I offer this exchange from Star Trek, The Original Series, “Plato’s Stepchildren:”

“Dr. McCoy : The release of emotions, Mr. Spock, is what keeps us healthy - emotionally healthy, that is. 

Spock : That may be, Doctor, however I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently very unhealthy for those closest to you.”

I have to agree. There is only so much emotion that those around you are prepared to handle. I had a friend once tell me that I wear my heart on my sleeve, and he appreciates it because then people know exactly where they stand with me. This is and has always been true, and it has gotten me into trouble. You have no idea how much effort I have put into trying to Mask that. It isn’t always convenient to have people always able to read what you are feeling.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying to be something you aren’t, or to be someone you are not. I am saying that just like everyone you meet has their own struggles that they are dealing with, they very likely may be wearing a mask that you can’t see. In fact, that mask might be their struggle. Be patient. Be kind. Be understanding.

This is critical, though. Find a place where you can drop all your makeup, all your hats, all your masks. Find a person that lets you do that. It may not be the same person or the same place every time, but find it. Find your haven. Find the place where you can unwind, or you end up too tightly wound. Everyone needs that place. And do your best to be that for someone else.

The future may just depend on it.

Peace,

Kathie