I am a Cisgender Woman

I am not gender fluid.

I am not transgender.

I am not lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer and questioning, intersexual, asexual, or two-spirit.

I am a cisgender woman.

If you want to know the truth, I don’t completely understand all these terms as well as I could, or should. It is beyond my imagination and experience to know what it is like to be gender fluid or trans or any of it in today’s society. I would like to say I understand what you are going through if you or your child are any of these, and trying to navigate today’s world.

But I can’t. I have never been there, done that.

Then again, I don’t have to. I don’t have to know what it’s like to be you, in order to welcome you in, or to be your friend, or to listen, or to be a safe space for you. I can do all those things without complete understanding. And maybe by doing those things, I can learn a little more, comprehend a little more, know how you feel a little more, love a little more. We all need to do this. Because, you see, the world is a frightening and dangerous place. There are people who will hate you, hurt you, just because of who you are or who you love.

Why does it matter? How am I harmed or damaged in any way if Bill chooses to love Sally or Bob? Or if Bill decides to become Sally and then love Bob? Shouldn’t that be up to Bill, Sally, and Bob? Sure, you are free to agree or disagree with anyone’s lifestyle choices as much as you want. The minute you start trying to tell them, or dictate to them, those choices…well, that’s where you step over the line. Violence should be way out of the question. Unfortunately, all too often, it is not.

I have friends who have kids that fit into many of these categories. I know these people, they are good parents. Their kids are scared. For their safety. And they are starting to make choices, some of them to keep their identity hidden, which has proven to be psychologically damaging. Would you want to watch your kid go through that? I wouldn’t. As a parent, I would want to do whatever I could, whatever I had to, to turn my child into a healthy, functioning adult member of society. I believe that means accepting them for what and who they are, and helping them become fully that — whatever that is.

Now, you know I am not talking about severely deviant behavior, so don’t go there.

It is time. Time to stand up to bullies. Time to open our hearts. Time to open our eyes. Time to turn off the hate. Even if it is disguised as love. Especially if it is disguised as love. Before more people are damaged beyond repair. After all, it could be, and likely is, someone you know.

As my son would say,”Live and let live, you know?”

Peace,

Kathie