Words, Words, Words

“Rise and Shine! Up and at ‘em!”

My mom used to wake us up with those words to get us out bed and start getting ready for school. What a cheerful way to wake up! I do the same to my son, although I add music. I pick a song and tell Alexa to play it to start his day. This morning, it was the theme from The Addam’s Family. (For the record, Ride of the Valkyries is not a preferred song first thing in the morning.)

Every parent has sayings. You know, the words and phrases that they always use. My Dad used to tell me that sometimes it’s better to be lucky than smart (usually when my luck saved me from a stupid situation). He told me that if it doesn’t kill you it makes you stronger. If you ask him how he is doing, he either “can’t complain” or “feels like a million bucks.” My cousin tells his kids that “There’s a lesson in that somewhere.” There are less pleasant ones. How many of us heard the “I’ll give you something to cry about” line?

Remember that old schoolyard saying? “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.” I never really figured that out when I was a kid, and now that I’m older, I know why. Words hurt. They can hurt a lot. If words didn’t hurt, bullying wouldn’t be a thing, cyberbullying wouldn’t exist, and people being driven to suicide just because they were being bullied wouldn’t happen. I see those stories in the news all the time. Words hurt. Kids know that. Adults need to see that truth, and teach kids that the words you use matter.

Take, for instance, the difference between “That’s the best you can do??” and “That isn’t bad-can you think of another way you could have done that?” Which would you rather hear? Oh sure, I know people that truly don’t let words hurt them…but these people (at least the ones that I know) are also hyper-aware of the effect that words have on others.

A song from “Into The Woods” (Stephen Sondheim) says,

"Careful the things you say

Children will listen

Careful the things you do

Children will see and learn

Children may not obey, but children will listen

Children will look to you for which way to turn

To learn what to be

Careful before you say "Listen to me"

Children will listen"

Be aware, though. It is not just the children that are listening. Everyone is listening to what you say. What you say tends to reflect who you are. In this age of internet and social media, what you say could potentially be out there forever. I don’t know if it is possible to watch every single word that comes out of your mouth; everyone makes mistakes. But it wouldn’t hurt to think before you speak. And try to speak words that build people up. Not tear them down.

I’ve heard it said that actions speak louder than words. Often , however, your words are all people see.

Choose carefully.

Peace,

Kat