High School Reunion

Do you remember your high school crush?

My biggest one was Troy Bethel. He was sweet and kind and funny. He was handsome with beautiful eyes and a dazzling smile. At one point in my senior year, without thinking about any possible repercussions, I sent him secret admirer notes. I was trying to get him to take me to prom. It was the idea of a friend of mine named Tammy, who I am pretty sure didn’t think I would go through with it. I was very shy in high school. The notes created quite a stir in choir class for a while, as his friends tried hard to figure out who wrote the notes. At about this time, I realized how extremely embarrassed I would be if the whole class knew it was me. He found out it was me (I think Tammy told him) and he told his friends to drop it, that he wasn’t going to tell them who it was, and that he didn’t want me embarrassed. At least, that is the version of the story I got. Isn’t that sweet? I hope he wasn’t embarrassed by the whole thing.

He didn’t take me to prom. I wasn’t upset about that.

Troy passed away in his late 20’s. Way too young. Prior to his passing, I used to think about how much fun it would be to see him at a reunion, to thank him for being so kind.

My 40th high school reunion is happening tonight. I’m not going. Not because Troy won’t be there! I’m dramatic, but not that dramatic! Partly because I am not the person I was back then. Are any of us, really? Hopefully life has changed us, and we have grown over the last 4o years. But I was not popular in high school. I wasn’t unpopular (I think of that like being infamous). I just didn’t have a ton of close friends, and I certainly didn’t hang with the popular crowd. I’m sure that something inside of me felt like I was not enough. Most of the people there, with a few exceptions (like my former classmates reading this) didn’t' really know me, I didn’t really know them, and while we were in classes together, we did not hang together outside of class. I don’t have a collection of stories of wild times from high school with memories to share and relive. There are a few folks I would love to see again but for the most part, I doubt I would have much to say.

Not because I am not enough. Among the many things I have learned since high school, the most important thing is this. I am enough. I am loving enough to be loved, smart enough to think for myself, talented enough to share it, skilled enough to do my job, willing enough to learn new things, entertaining enough to spend time with.

I Am Enough.

So are you. Did you get that? You are beautiful, kind, loved, loving, skilled, worthy. You are enough.

Don’t doubt that. And don’t forget it. Ever.

Peace,

Kathie